... only that the light illuminate the path.
September, 2012 - St. Catherine's Church, Estes Park, CO (Photo by Breanne Pye)
I often struggle with the difference between religion and spirituality. The distinction between the two is defined, debated and demonstrated with ferocity everywhere I look. It is debated by politicians on news channels I am required to monitor for my job. It is discussed amongst friends even in the most serene locations and situations. It is demonstrated with both absolute love and absolute hate in every country on earth.
But the biggest debate is between my own heart and my own head. As a Soldier... I know faith. I know my heavenly father is up there lighting a path for me to follow when I stray a little too far toward the shadow. I know he has kept me safe in impossibly dangerous situations. I know he watches over my fellow Soldiers and instills an unmatchable courage within their hearts as they follow paths few others will ever retrace.
I struggle to put that faith in context. I wasn't raised to be any particular religion. My father and mother were both incredibly vague in their instruction on faith and religion. They encouraged me to find my own path and to always follow my heart.
In high school, that path led me to be baptized in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. All the strength, courage and discipline I possessed at the time came from my desire to follow the teachings of my church, which I believed with all my heart.
Without a doubt, the church was a light which illuminated a path FAR different than the path I would have taken. I know with absolute certainty, that light saved my life back then.
And then I started feeling things even the church couldn't explain... and worse... strongly condemned.
I didn't choose to be gay. I know that's a whole other debate in some folks' heads... but in my head, it's just a fact. At the height of my piousness, I fought with the heart of a lion to make my heart and my body fall in line with my religious beliefs. I prayed furiously to be scourged of such confusing and terrifying thoughts and feelings. I asked for blessings from my elders without ever explaining my struggle in hopes their healing hands could rid me of my demons.
In the long run, I suppose I figured out that, demons or no, my thoughts and feelings weren't going anywhere... a realization that demanded I step aside from my religion and begin the journey of learning how to be the most loving, joyful, spiritual soul I can manage in one lifetime.
These days, I try my best to always pay kindness forward. To always try to be the best ME possible even when I think no one is looking. To be a good leader and a positive role model to my Soldiers, who I identify so closely with as I watch them confront demons and struggles of their own.
I am always looking for the light. Walking straight toward the light. Praying the light will come when I am fumbling blind in the dark.
I fumble much more than I would like.
It still confuses me greatly... when I am alone in a quiet place and I think of the people who have had the strongest influence and impact on my life. A majority of them are strong in their LDS faith, which I continue to admire even though my light has led in a different direction.
What are your thoughts on this matter, friends? What do you think is the biggest difference between religion and spirituality? Do you struggle with finding a balance? Or... are you happy with following whatever path your faith illuminates?
Today, for me at least... the light fell on my keyboard so that I could empty my doubt with aching fingers on a sharp white screen before all of you.
Hope this post finds each of you joyful, if nothing else.
~Bree
Spiritually is faith focused both inward and godward.
ReplyDeleteReligion is faith focused toward the world organized and planned.
The biggest difference I see is that religion lays out the path you are to follow and spirituality allows you to develop your beliefs in your own way.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend is SDA and he has struggled with being gay for the 30+ years I've known him...his choice is to be celibate and follow the Adventist teachings.
I hurt for him because I feel like he's denying himself the opportunity to find out who he can really be...not allowing his spirituality to really develop.
I'm Southern Baptist so there are some struggles there also...I don't pick my friends based on sexual preference, religious beliefs, race and have a hard time with a religion trying to dictate those choices for me. I guess, in some ways, I'm not following my true inclinations.
We attended a church with less rigidity in it's belief system, Episcopal, and probably need to return to it...we switched the church of my childhood simply because it is only 4 miles away instead of 29. With parental caregiving it's hard to get away for more than 90 minutes, so we chose something close to home. Not the best way to choose a church.
Basically I feel like we develop our spirituality separate from our family upbringing...family impacts the choices we make but we still have free will regarding spirituality. I'm not advocating doing whatever feels good and finding a religion that will allow it...I still read the Bible and follow the teachings therein for the most part...but I'm more comfortable with a church that doesn't interpret everything in a concrete, rigid manner.
Given the many translations of the Bible over the years and the changes in language/word meanings over the years...it's all open to interpretation. I just don't believe in a God that condemns His children for things over which they have no control, such as sexual preference.
Pastor Larry, thank you very much for sharing such a fantastic interpretation. It contained a clarity I have rarely found in matters such as this. I really appreciate the comment!
ReplyDeleteBridget, what a thoughtful, insightful and heartfelt response! Thank you for sharing your own experience with me. It gives me great joy to know there are incredible, faithful people in the world that are capable of holding back judgment, even when their beliefs may conflict with mine. I wish I could drag myself to ANY church just to feel closer to God. I keep trying to talk myself into trying one church or another but I always seem to find a reason not to. Perhaps if my verbal voice can reach far enough, I can find like-hearted people near me who can lend me courage and support in attending church again!
Thank you both for your tactful, thoughtful responses. I really appreciate them!
Since the words spirituality and religion are both used very broadly, you will never get a clear answer when it comes to distinguishing between them. However, to quote the OED, spirituality means “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things”; while religion is “the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods”.
ReplyDeleteSpirituality is applied to religions too, of course, since you can’t have a religion without involving spirituality, and in ordinary use most people who talk about their spiritual lives mean their religious ones, but in principle the two words are distinct.
Cello Breezy:
ReplyDeleteMethinks this entry, and the honesty of your personal journey pretty much clarifies the differencce between religion and spirituality, my friend.
For me, religion is the introduction to the idea that God, a Supreme Power exists, and this is something we are taught through scripture, by example, & yes, even through the application of fear.
Spirituality is something we are each born with because it is a core characteristic of the human soul. It can be developed into a stronger entity through the freedom of simple observation, the purity of our intents, and the essence of judgment-free acceptance of other souls here on earth.
The duality inherent in the concepts of religion and spirituality can often lead to conflict, undue crisis, uncertainty, self-doubt, and decades of pain and unhappiness.
However, in this life, I choose to snatch JOY!
One Love.
Lin
Simon, another great response, thank you for your input!
ReplyDeleteLin... thank you for your incredibly sweet words! I like your personal reflection on spirituality. I would like to believe my faith is a core characteristic of my soul! And I always choose to snatch JOY... so cheers to us both in our one love!
~Bree
Bree,
ReplyDeleteReligion to me is your inner faith and outward belief's more so than what church you attend or what religion you worship. I am Irish Catholic, I attend church and confession when I feel it call me or I need stronger guidance.
Guidance to me is a reminder that god is watching over us and he hears us where ever we chose to pray or speak, it doesn't have to be inside a building or on our knees before bed. If I feel I am not being heard or I need to be closer then a visit to church of confession will be forth coming.
~Lori
You have a special heart, Bree.
ReplyDeleteYour heart is pure, it's compassionate, it's honest, it's sensitive to truth, and what's good.
Don't be afraid. The truth is, there is a God that loves you, fully, completely, without any strings attached. He's your Father, and He's perfectly aware of your conflict, your questions, your hopes and dreams, and your desires. He's aware of all the truth about your circumstances . . . everything that we cannot have a perfect knowledge of.
I think He has special mercy and grace for this particular conflict.
I like Lin's comment about spirituality, that "it's something we're each born with because it's a core characteristic of the human soul." I call it the Light of Christ. And, I think you are full of it.
You are deeply spiritual, or you connect deeply to the Light of Christ.
My personal experience is that as you are as true to the Light of Christ inside of you as you can be, you will eventually find the answers you seek.
I have so much admiration that you stay tender and soft in your heart regardless of the intensity of your struggle, or the depth of your confusion and questions.
You just keep a green tree in your heart, and a singing bird will come.
With great love,
JP
Lori, I love that explanation. I also agree that his guidance comes in the form of feeling the need to pray. I know that doing exactly that is my first inclination when I am struggling.
ReplyDeleteJodie... As you know, you are at the top of the list of people I admire and aspire to be more like. You have had such a positive, lasting impact on my life. Because of your incredible advice and your unconditional love, I have been able to follow a much more godly path. This struggle, I'm afraid, only gets steeper as I gather more years, experience and wisdom. I'm a much better person now than I was just a few years ago... and am completely different than the lost teenage girl who showed up on your doorstep one night because she didn't know where else to go. I have always believed coming to you for guidance was the first time in my life I ever followed that light. You make the struggle easier to bear.
These days, I put my struggle aside by staying busy and trying to be as active in my communities as I can be. I don't date. I don't even go out anymore, really. I stick to spending time with good people, who challenge me to be better. In turn, the quality of my life and my ability to both experience and share my spirituality have been better than I ever imagined they could be.
Maybe I subconsciously bought a house in the middle of the mountains as far away from the hustle and bustle of the city as possible so I could continue to focus on the things heavenly father wants me focusing on.
I'd like to think I do things for the right reasons. Most of the time though, I think I am being selfish and talking myself in to doing things I think will benefit me in the long run. It's a tight rope... even trying to figure out WHY I've made a decision leads me back to the struggle.
In any case... I feel humble that you love me even when I'm being ridiculous. And we both know there's been PLENTY of that in the last decade and a half!
Thank you for your tender words, you inspire me, always. I love you!
~Bree